On soulmates

This month I wanted to write about love. Honestly it’s a topic that’s come up rather frequently in the past couple of months. I really decided on this series when I had a chat with my friend. She’s been married for like ten years and when I asked her how she knew she was in love, she said she didn’t know if she’s ever truly been in love.

So I continued to ask questions. How did you/do you know that you’re in love? Is it a feeling that you’ve met “the one”? Is the one out there? Do we all have a soulmate? I need answers. So I sought them.

There is an overwhelming majority that believes in the existence of soulmates. Some even went as far to say they knew for a fact God existed because they were brought together with their soulmate. Many argued that their relationship was easy from day one, so obviously they’re destined. That was just the commentary in favor on my Facebook. Online there’s a whole heap of literature arguing for the existence of soulmates. 

Some say soulmates exist in two different forms: romantic partners and platonic friends. The actual definition regards a soulmate as someone ideally suited for another as a close friend or partner. One of my friends believes our souls are little pieces scattered everywhere and those pieces live in other people and when we meet them we feel instantly connected because they hold a piece of us. 

One of my friends thinks that soulmates exist because, science. But, this same friend also thinks we’re destined to never find our soulmates because it’s mathematically improbable. Bleak.

I’m not going to dismiss people’s hopeful ideals of love, but I will say that I don’t believe they exist. I believe love is a spectrum and the choice is ours how far we’ll place someone on that spectrum. Love is a feeling but also a choice and an action. The idea of soulmates often negates the idea that love is action. 

I was watching a Netflix movie today. The whole premise of the movie was this guy going back in time to alter his relationship with his friend he has a crush on. Regardless of what he did he’d wake up three years later to find his life altered and her to be with the same guy she’s in love with from the beginning. By the end he realizes they were never meant to be but that the whole time it was actually her best friend he was in love with. Point of that movie might be that her soulmate was first guy and their destiny was to find each other. I think the point is that sometimes we’re so busy chasing a feeling that we ignore what is good for us and is almost always already present in our lives. We ignore the reality to chase the fantasy.

So, no I don’t believe soulmates exist. I think you have to put real work in. I think that we meet people of significance in our lives and we immediately know it. Time will tell whether that significance is good or bad and that feeling doesn’t negate the fact there will be work. 

I’ve always been keen to significance in my life. I almost always know immediately whether someone will be important to me. This feeling has been the mark of several very important friendships and a couple of romantic relationships. And just because someone is significant doesn’t mean they’re going to around forever. 

All of my significant romantic relationships have been the result of this “feeling” in the beginning. But, ultimately if that person doesn’t choose me back, if they hurt me, if they neglect me, if they treat me like I’m nothing… not a feeling in the world will make me stick around for that. And ,that’s the problem with soulmates too. People are afraid to leave. They’re willing to put up with mediocrity because of the sham that they’ve met their soulmate. 

Relationships are hard. People are hard. But, people are worth loving and it sucks to be lonely!

I’m in favor of special people in our lives. I think we should love hard and fiercely and without fear. We shouldn’t be afraid to tell people how we feel about them. We should show them through action and not just words. Love people who love you, without fear, without hurt, without excuse. Those are your soulmates.

Sad isn’t bad

Today I feel sad.

Well, if we’re being completely honest, I’ve been sad for weeks. I’m just at capacity right now and having a hard time covering up my sad. 

I’m an advocate for feelings. Feel the way you feel. All feelings have their place. Sad doesn’t equal bad. 

So… today I’m sad. I’m depleted. Tired. At capacity. I don’t feel like I’m doing a great job at any of my one million jobs. I don’t feel like my relationships are going well. I’m constantly failing at being a good pup mom to Fitz. Literally failing hard at adulting. Failing everything, that’s how I feel. And while all feelings are valid, not all feelings are true. 

So, current life status is me weeding through the overwhelm of it all and figuring out what is true. 

Today my truth is that I’m sad. 

Today everything sucks, but it’s fine.

If you hear nothing else, hear that it’s okay to feel. It’s okay that you feel sad. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s okay to feel anxious. Etc. Etc. Etc. 

Feel all the things. Don’t let it consume you. Today I feel sad. 
But shit, at least I’m trying.

Solitude

Currently I’m sitting in one of my favorite fast casual dining spots in my city. I’ve been here numerous times on dates and with friends. I’m not normally a creature of habit when it comes to ordering, but here I am. I almost always get the salmon ceasar salad, because it’s delicious and because I hate catfish. I’ll keep it fresh by ordering a beer, black beans or sweet potato fries if I’m feeling particularly adventurous. 

Today I sit alone. Today I enjoy my solitude.

I don’t know why but people treat lone eaters as sad. While I’m a relatively sad person in general, I’m not sad because I eat alone and I’m not alone because I’m sad. When did solitude become such a burden. Why do we view this as less than?

My goal for February is to write a series of blogs on love and relationships. I’ve been scouring my Facebook for fodder. But, before we even get started, I wanted to write on solitude. I really think that before we can be with anyone, we’ve got to be okay with being alone with ourselves. If you can’t love yourself and take care of yourself, how can you expect anyone to know how to love or take care of you.

I’ve been alone most of my life so I’m very comfortable in my solitude. Being with people is very hard. Humans are hard ,so relationships are hard. It’s easy to be alone, but it’s not growing. And while the solitude offers many benefits, there are a lot of perks to being with people. 

So, before we dig deep into a series on love and relationships, I wanted to highlight all the things I know to be true about solitude and being alone. This is, after all, my area of expertise. 

Being alone and being lonely don’t always go hand in hand. I know numerous people who are surrounded by people almost always. They have significant others, an overflowing friend group and some even have kids. Yet, even still, they remain some of the most lonesome people I know. So, loneliness doesn’t always equate to being alone. I am sometimes my loneliest admidst a room full of people. The flip side of that is that being alone doesn’t always equal being lonely. Today I spent almost my entire afternoon alone. I took myself out for a meal, a movie, coffee & cupcakes and even shopped for a few things. I might have been alone but I didn’t feel lonely. I was doing things I enjoy, on my own time and it was nice not to have to factor in another human. I sometimes get “peopled out” and I need time and space to recharge.

Being alone is better than bad relationships. I really try in relationships. Sometimes way too much. A nurturer by nature, I often give more than I receive. And, I do this until I just have to tap out. I’m learning it’s better to be alone than spend your energy and time on people who don’t value it. This goes for both friendships and romantic relationships. A friend of mine recently said, “I do a lot. So I value time with myself over almost anything. If you’re getting my time it means that I’m giving up that greatly valued personal time. Don’t waste it and understand it’s fucking valuable. I have to like you more than I like my own time.” The greatest thing we can give people is our time. Don’t waste it on those who don’t value or deserve it. Sometimes that means reassessing our relationships and understanding that even though we care or love a person, they’re just bad for us. If you don’t add value, I’m going to have to let you go.

Being alone helps you be with someone else. I’be been alone the better part of my  adult life. I’m good at it. I find joy in solitude. Mostly. Being alone has taught me what I want, don’t want, what I need and what I don’t need. 

I went on a date a couple of weeks ago. This guy was a total dreamboat. He was 6’7 , successful, muscular, smart, a gentleman , charming, funny and really nice. He even called me on the phone after our date so he could hear my voice and ask me out again. Perfect on paper and yet I politely declined another date. The problem was, his ambitions didn’t really line up with my ambitions. What he valued didn’t exactly line up with what I valued. All he could talk about was arranging his life around having season basketball tickets and buying new things . He wanted to do all these things but yet worked a job he hated just to keep up a lavish lifestyle. I’m not judging that, I’m just saying stuff is not what I value. Living in a small town near the city I grew up in, raising a bunch of kids and getting comfortable in monotony so we can live surrounded by stuff, that’s not going to be my life. Good for him, not for me. And, while twenty year old me would’ve been tempted to marry Mr. Perfect on Paper, 28 year old me knows she’s better off alone. It’s better to be alone and happy than with someone and miserable. It’s so easy to let someone else steal your possibilities. 

People don’t need people. People want people. And when you’re able to come to terms with the fact that loving someone is a choice and you make that choice constantly, it gives you the freedom to choose wisely. And, there’s nothing wrong with choosing solitude. You don’t need a person to complete you. You are a complete person on your own. Instead choose a partner who compliments you. Someone who can live alongside you and cheer you on as you do the same. Someone who adds value to your life and who cherishes time with you. 

Substance

Happy is the heart that still feels pain. Darkness drains and the light will come again. – Ingrid Michaelson

I pay attention to lyrics a lot, more so than a melody. I’m a writer, so naturally it makes sense that words matter to me. I’ve always liked Ingrid, but when I came across this lyric several weeks ago I felt like we were soul sisters, because this is exactly how I felt then and somewhat how I feel now.

If you haven’t gathered already from reading this blog, I’m a sensitive person. I feel a lot, not just of my emotions but others as well. Empathy, it’s one of my biggest strengths and weaknesses. I’m a Cancer, so apparently that makes a lot of sense. All I know is that I feel shit. And I feel it a lot and hard and all the fucking time.

There’s a fine line between being self aware and being narcissistic and honestly I’ve been teetering on the side of the latter the past several weeks. You may recall my post in October about this really terrible thing that happened to me, yeah well, it fucked up my capacity bucket. Let me explain.

So my therapist (Therapy is weird. You should totally try it. It helps you keep your friends when you’re crazy   experiencing a lot of feelings. I secretly like it. Don’t tell my therapist.) is a delightful person and also really smart and great with metaphors. A few weeks ago we were discussing post trauma type feelings that I’ve been having and most of them not having anything to do with the actual incident itself but rather things I haven’t dealt with for a very long time or well, ever. Insert the capacity bucket metaphor. The idea is that everyone has this metaphorical emotional feelings bucket and some people may have a small bucket, some a large one but regardless, everyone has one. Regardless of size or scope, that bucket has a capacity, it can only be so full before the overflow starts to happen. And, when the shit hits the fan and your bucket starts to overflow because you’re not dealing with your feelings…you don’t get to choose what comes out.

To make a long story a little less long, my capacity has been met and I’ve been dealing with a few things. One of the feelings being heartbreak…old and new. Hence the last post.  It’s easy for me to let people go by omitting them completely, pretending things didn’t happen, but somewhere down the road you have to deal with loss of any kind. And sometimes we have to mourn the living, the death of possibilities. Pain demands to be felt, and the mind prefers closure. Insecurity is another thing that’s surfaced. Who doesn’t have some sort of insecurity though, aimiright? I won’t go into the little details over my own insecurities, because they’re still mine and I’m dealing with them but I will say this… one of my main problems is thinking I am both too much and never enough for people. I have a problem seeking perfection. And, nothing is ever perfect so imagine my constant disappointment. (Half joking.)

The biggest feeling to surface though has to be loneliness. I’ve always been good at being alone. I make myself busy. I’m not someone who needs constant attention. I’m independent. But there’s a huge difference in being alone and being lonely.  And when you can’t  make yourself busy or you find yourself wanting people to be there when they aren’t or can’t be, loneliness can rear it’s ugly head. Loneliness is one of those feelings I hate because it demands another person to alleviate. I don’t like “needing” people. I don’t like states of vulnerability. But, sooner or later, it happens. And all the feelings, good and bad demand to be felt. They demand to be dealt with. It’s not good or bad it’s just true.

So here I am with these feelings and stupidly trying to shovel out my capacity bucket so I can function like a normal human instead of a wallowing mess of a person, until it hits me.

Perhaps once upon a time I was a wallowing mess of person, full of broken bits I didn’t know how to put back together. But I’m not that girl anymore. I dealt with those parts of me, and now I can choose to move forward and be this awesome badass of a woman everyone reminds me I am or I can regress back to a wallowing mess. There really is no happy medium here.

Don’t get me wrong, feel the way you feel…but then move on. I haven’t been moving on. I’ve been a wallowing mess of a person. So focused on the bad feelings that have come from the overflow that I forgot to be present in my own life. I haven’t been here. I haven’t been present. I’ve been asleep. It took a really good friend of mine to say, “What’s got you so upset about this situation?” to wake up. She refused to coddle me. She reminded me it could be a lot worse. Yeah, something I am painfully aware of. Thanks. But she was right. I am not dead. And as long as I have breath in my lungs and feeling in my bones, I need to be present in my own goddamn life.

People keep asking me what I want. What would make me happy? I think at this moment it’s fluid. Adulting is difficult and at almost 30 I’m still trying to figure out what the heck I’m doing. One of the things that doesn’t change though is this, I want to fill my life with warmth, light and love. I want people to take care of and people to take care of me. Not to be afraid of loving someone or needing people. I want to experience things, not just buy them. I want to see the world and I want to try everything that’s within reason. Stop saying no just because I’m scared. These are little big things I think would make me happy.

What does any of this have to do with you? I have some advice. (Shocker!) Deal with your feelings. Because, sooner or later you’ll have to. Wake the fuck up in your own life. The hourglass is glued to the table and the mortality rate is still 100%, so live your life. Live it as well as humanly possible.

Terrible things happen every single day. Chances are that the terrible thing that happened to me didn’t happen to you. Your story is your story. Don’t let the bad things or past mistakes keep your future from being bright. Glass half empty or half full? Lately there’s been no glass. But then I woke up, and reminded myself that the glass is there and it’s not half empty or half full… it’s refillable.

And, isn’t that better. It’s just a season. One of growth,change and uncertainty. Deal with the ginormous bucket of feelings and find out what you’re made of. You have substance, kid.

So, if you’re in a season of wallowing, remember this: Happy is the heart that still feels pain. The darkness will drain and the light will come again.

 

Six Years Later

toa-heftiba-274947A few months ago I was talking with a friend and a question came up… if you were given the opportunity to make something right or tell someone something and it was the last time you were able to do that, who would you choose and what would you say? I didn’t have the answer then. I think I chose something that would have been nice but I don’t think it was the real honest answer. So, because I’m not a verbal processor and I’m a writer, I’m going to share this answer with you & the universe.

To be honest, I think we all have that one thing we wish we would have said, that one apology, I love you and I’m really glad your in my life kind of thing. The following is a short and concise version of that for me. These are words that are actually too late to say but nevertheless they are true.

So here is my very real, honest and vulnerable apology love letter.

___________,

Sorry it’s taken so long. I’m not great with relationships. You know that all too well. It’s been a very long time. My fault of course. I cut you out of my life entirely. I do that and I am sorry. But the truth is I miss you. It use to be every couple of minutes, then every hour, then every few weeks, then every month and now every few months I think about you. The less and less I think about you the more it makes me kind of sad. Sad that would have, should have moments exist in our lives. Sad because it was of my own making. But,  it’s very easy to romanticize the past. It’s simple to reminisce about rose colored glass versions of people. I have a very real and rosy version of you in my mind. But… that’s all kind of changed.

This year was really difficult in ways I could have never imagined. It made me question  a lot of different things I thought to be true. One of those things was love. Once upon a time I thought I loved you. You were my best friend. But, the timing was never right. The gumption was never there. And, even though I was young and not a fully formed adult, I knew that I was way too much for someone like you. You treated me with so much kindness and grace all the time. You cared about what I cared about. You wanted to get to know my crazy family. You supported me in ways a lot of people didn’t. And… at the end of the day, you were there. You were there when I needed someone. Until… you weren’t.

The reason I could never tell you I loved you was because I wasn’t sure it was true. There were things I loved about you, but other things I really really didn’t. You were passive. You weren’t ambitious. Your number one priority was to get married and mine wasn’t.  And, most of all, you never fought for me. That’s the hard part. No one does. I leave. It’s what I do when things get hard. But, it’s not always what I want. I expected more.

I’ve learned a lot about love since then. There’s many different types. The fact that you can love people in different seasons of your life. And, when you want a person, you don’t get to choose which part, you take the whole thing and hope that all the good outweighs the bad. You also don’t get to choose when a person enters or leaves your life. I’m learning to embrace my seasons with people.

I use to think our timing was just a bit off. If I had met you later in life I would’ve been ready. Truth is, I’m not the same person. You’re not the same person. And, at the end of the day I cared about you in the right season of my life. I’m sorry it wasn’t enough. I’m sorry that I left and that I wasn’t a better friend. I’m sorry I broke your heart a little. I didn’t love you well. Love is a choice and it’s manifested through action. I didn’t choose you and I left. I chose me. My goals, ambitions and selfishness were my priorities.

Ours was the healthiest unhealthy relationship I’ve ever had. Complicated. Messy. I don’t do any of those things for very long you know. And I’m really good at cold cut endings. I’m sorry you were part of that. You were my best friend. Now you’re not.

Truth is, you don’t need my apology. You are happy. I know because you’ve found your person. You’ve made a life. A life you wanted, a life that you deserve. I’m happy that you are happy. This apology was really for me. Parts of me are still pretty selfish. I blamed you for all of it. I sowed a seed of bitterness towards you that made it super simple to walk away. But in all honest, I very much bare a lot of the blame.

So, one last I’m sorry and I’ll be done. I wish you well. Thank you for being the one who made me happy for a little while, for showing me what a good and decent man looks like and for treating me with kindness when I didn’t even know how to give that to myself. I’m glad we met. I’m glad you’re a forever piece of my story. Go, be happy.

with love,

Kate

Capacity

When terrible things happen it challenges your capacity. Your capacity for love, strength, bravery, courage and living.

A terrible, no good, really bad thing happened to me this week. Something that came out of nowhere and is seemingly unfathomable. The kind of thing you think didn’t happen…but it did. An out of body experience type thing. A thing that changes your world a bit.

But, I’m not going to rehash what happened, if you know me personally you already know. This is more so a post to help me get my thoughts out. It’s cathartic for me, writing helps me heal.

The world has been one big shit storm lately. This terribleness just happened to hit close to home for me this week. And I’ve been thinking of how you recover from that. How do we recover from the terribly rotten, no good things?

For me, in this moment, there are two options.

One, I can do what I’ve always done and shrink away from the world, pushing everyone I care about away so they don’t have to deal with it. That’s unfair…but it’s easy. I got to that place yesterday, and just felt like everything was dark and twisty and nothing was ever going to be bright and shiny for a very long time. I could stay there. I could shut myself away in my room and close out the world. I wrote the book on that coping mechanism. A few years ago, that’s what I would’ve done. That was my capacity.

I woke up this morning and realized that I’m not that person anymore. My capacity has changed. I’m stronger, smarter, funnier, braver… I’m just more. So option two, choose bright and shiny. Choose to come out on the other side and realize this could have a silver lining. When terrible things happen they challenge our capacity for everything.

Option two for me is the only option. I won’t say that it won’t take time to get back to a place of “normal”, whatever that looks like. But, I can be a little better everyday. All I keep thinking is how much I want to experience, how much I want to do, how full I want my life to be and how much my existence is my responsibility. There can be silver linings in terrible, no good, horribly wrong situations.

I will use this situation to grow my capacity. It’s time to grow the hell up and stop being so selfish. Selfish with time, love and life. My capacity for love, kindness, new experiences, courage, bravery and people will grow. I’ve learned that I need people in my life to share in these things with. I use to think I liked to be alone, that I was good at it. I don’t want that anymore. As easy as it is, it’s not the best existence. Being strong doesn’t mean you don’t need anyone. I want my life to be full and to love harder and give more of my time and self to those people I care about. That’s where the healing begins.

And that’s all I really have to say about it.

Love your people well. Don’t be afraid to take big leaps or risks, apologize when you do something wrong, tell people what you want, take chances, become the best version of yourself and don’t accept anything less. Break cycles of what you think your capacity is and choose to be better. We can always be better. Growth is always possible. Love even when it seems like it’s not going to work, or your afraid, or you’ve been hurt. Just love, experience and choose to be happy. We can be brave together.

Collecting Cities: A Day In Birmingham

A few weeks ago I booked an overnight trip to Birmingham for me and one of my favorite people. Now, being from Memphis, Tenn., I’ve been to B-Ham several times in my life because it’s only a three hour drive. Every time I visit it’s a different experience. It’s one of those weird southern cities where you just don’t quite know what you’ll end up with.

First, before this trip it had been about three years since I’d actually visited. The other times were just pass throughs on my way to and from Georgia. My friend Erin had lived just outside the city for a brief spell and I went to visit her and the little coffee shop she worked at. Full of fresh grinds and eclectic little shops, this was my previous visit to Birmingham. But, this time I had something else in mind.

If you can’t tell already, I like to theme things. Birthday’s, gifts, trips, writing…giving things a theme helps an otherwise indecisive person break down a million choices. The theme of this trip… HAUNTED. And, holy smokes was that so funny and fun all at the same time. I found it appropriate to write this in the begs of October just in case you need a little spook in your life.

Stop One: The Sloss Furnaces 

Sloss is one of those places that’s on a bunch of different lists that no one quite remembers or pays attention to. That is, unless you go to the festival they have every year or you actually live in Birmingham. When I was researching haunted places near me and this place came up, I was legit intrigued.

The boring part is that for almost a century the furnaces created the industry that would help good ole B-Ham rise to glory. Built in the 1880s the furnaces became one of nineteen pig iron furnaces to begin a rise to industry. Good ole’ Sloss himself was dubbed someone who was spreading the “gospel of industrialism” so naturally he ran for public office. He retired around 1886 and sold off the furnaces to a group of investors who would guide it into an industry boom.

The furnaces stayed open for decades, closing in 1971, then later became a national historic landmark in 1981 then a museum (free mind you) in 1983. They host festivals, concerts and conventions there because the space is really cool. But the coolest part, in my opinion, is that on a nice sunny day when nothing special is going on, you can tour the site on your lonesome and spook the hell out. Which is exactly what we did.

So, what’s the deal with it being haunted? Glad you asked!

In the early 1900’s James “Wormwood” Slag was the foreman of the nightshift of the furnaces. (Can’t get through the word “Wormwood” without thinking about Matilda, yeah me either!) Anyway, an estimated 150 people would toil long hours to keep those furnaces fed. Some would describe working during the nightshift a “living hell” because they would hire the poorest of the poor and temperatures would sometimes reach a stifling 120 degrees. Slag would force his workers to speed production, work in dangerous quarters and do anything to please his bosses. During his reign as night foreman, 47 workers lost their lives. Beyond that, there was no holidays and no days off and numerous people were injured on the job.

Slag, however, got his reparation as he lost his footing one night over the largest furnaced dubbed “Big Alice”, his body melting instantly in the hot iron ore. Ever since, it has been rumored that the furnaces are haunted by an evil presence that has been known to shove people from behind while repeatedly telling them to “get back to work”. One night watchman was burned so badly in 1971, the last evening the furnace was open, that he had fists of burn marks all over his body that were unexplainable. Numerous people have disappeared and there has been several reportings of people feeling an unexplainable “evil presence” on the grounds.

Regardless of whether you believe in haunted things or not, this place is really fun to just toil away a few hours and explore. There is even a tunnel that is dark and damp that the night watchmen refuse to go down…a definite must for the haunted enthusiast. I mean… what’s a few burns as memorabilia. Just in case you were looking for actual memorabilia… the gift shop has weird hours and only takes cash and checks. So bring the Benjamin’s in the off chance you want a  one of a kind souvenir cat head made out of iron.

Stop 2: Barber Motor Sports

This place was actual not haunted at all, just a really sweet spot for the car or motorbike enthusiast. Hundreds of cars and bikes on display, an air of general museum quality in which you can’t touch literally anything without an old man yelling at you…this place had to make the list. And… I guess it could gain haunted authority in the off chance that one of the several motorcycle racers in the back face planted and died on the track. That would deem the place appropriately haunted, right? I don’t know, go look at some old cars and shit. It’s pretty cool.

Food Stops — Okay, so Birmingham as a city is probably haunted because no one seems to live there. That or it was an Alabama game night and everyone was far far away in a little town called Tuscaloosa. Regardless, it is one of the most quiet cities I’ve ever been to downtown. We kept trying to find restaurants that were open and even the Chick-fil-A was closed…downtown… on a Saturday, it was weird. But we finally settled on the Paramount Bar, which was totally delicious. We snagged the Great Balls of Fire app, which consisted of fried risotto balls and sauce and after that I can’t remember much else of what we got because I was in a tired food coma. Go there, eat the fried balls. You won’t be sorry.

Our dinner destination was of course founded in liquid courage, Good People Brewing Company had some bomb.com brews that were perfect for a crisp September evening. Their patio is spot on and live music, while it could always be a smidge lower so that you can actually hear your partner, was not too shabby. I’d rate it a 7 out of 10.

Our final stop for Saturday was the Tutwiler Hotel which, of course, is clearly haunted. It was beautiful and they even had moderately pleasant information desk workers who guarded the super posh orange water. People even liked the place so much that they left their wedding albums in the lobby for other patrons to peruse, or make fun of… I’m the latter. Found on a clearly legit haunting site, ” This hotel is said to be haunted by Colonel Tutwiler. He may turn all the lights on at night as he has in the past, but now the staff are required to remind him to turn off all the lights and not make a mess every night. Every since there has been no problem.” Oh Colonel, how civil of you to haunt the place with such submission. Regardless, this place totes has a haunted vibe. Though… it could just be the surly front desk lady. Regardless, I would totally stay here again!

 

The next day we grabbed some breakfast, some of the best coffee I’ve had in a while, hit up the botanical gardens and then hit the road. If you’re looking for a haunted adventure or just want a fun little story to tell, consider B-Ham. You won’t regret it. There’s always something to stumble into. Happy travels.