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I coulda been a contendah

Under pressure. You think Queen, you think Bowie, you think life. Life is the most relatable, obviously. Life is full of pressure. But good things happen when under pressure, growth and diamonds and all that jazz, right?

For those that know me, like really know me, they know I do a lot of self improvement work. I read books, I listen to podcasts, I read blogs. I speak out loud about what I am learning, not necessarily under the guise of this is self-help but more with the idea that we can all strive to be the best versions of ourselves everyday and I like to ponder the advice bestowed to the masses from those who have been in the trenches. The self-help realm has always fascinated me. I love to hear how people are fitting more into each day, using their moonlight hours to hone their passions and creativity, channeling the power of positive thinking and even dropping everything to move to some remote part of the world. Self improvement is everywhere. It’s encouraging really, to see that others are putting in the work. To know that you are not alone in your journey of becoming something greater, something better than you are right now. Because if you are like me…you live your life under pressure. Pressure from a job, family, friends, children, life etc. If you aren’t under some kind of coal-churning-diamond-like pressure in your life, I would like to know your secret.

I put that pressure on myself. I expect more. I expect perfection. I often fall short.

“I coulda been a contendah!” Truer words never existed in moments like this. Moments of failure or moments of success. Enough is never enough. Not when you expect more. Not when you wanted something faster, bigger, different etc. etc. etc. It is in moments of this kind of lament that we do ourselves a great disservice.

I have been intentional about certain aspects of my life this year. It was only recently that I felt like I had missed an area: me. It is ok to be ambitious, to want things. Aim higher. But even if you never reach the mark…know that you are enough. I am enough right now. I am enough single. I am enough the weight I am, the height I am, with makeup, without makeup, educated the amount I am, having read the books I’ve read, the amount of friends I have, the amount of friends I don’t have, the amount of places I’ve been, the aunt I am, the author I am. I am enough the way that I am in this moment. So are you. You are enough. You are loved.

When you realize and accept the enoughness that you currently possess, that pressure goes away. The pressure to be more in your existence than you are currently able to give yourself is what gives us all this perpetual state of unhappiness. Allow yourself to be happy. Work towards all the things. But never let your search for all the things that you currently do not possess create a void in your life so big that you are not able to enjoy the here and the now. Life is created in the here and the now.

So for me, I’ve ditched the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s of my life. I’ve let go of the things in this moment that I have no control over. I am intentional about all the things I am, I can be and I will be. I encourage you to do the same.

If you have been keeping up with my posts, it will come to no surprise to you that my theme for this year is intention. It’s surfaced in every aspect of my life from dating to work to home to even how I treat myself and others. I hope the little nuggets I’ve scattered along the way will encourage everyone to pursue a life of intention and loving yourself everyday. I can’t say I am finished, but I will thank you for sticking in there with me.

 

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